Anyone who is grieving will understand what I mean. Grief can really kick you in the ass some days.
We can stay busy and try to involve ourselves in good things and try to have happy days, but then something we hear or read or see will make us think of the loved one we've lost, and the pain is like a sock in the gut.
Of course, we think of them every day. Sometimes we try not to, because the pain is too much, but then we feel guilty for not wanting to think about them.
People say that one day you will just remember the good times and not feel the pain so much, but I'm certainly not at that point yet.