Our First Year of the Pandemic

 

I know that the photo above looks like it's from dining out during the pandemic, but it was just a fun winter dining thing we did pre-pandemic.

My husband and I are high-risk, so we've been insanely cautious for this last year.  No dining out, indoor or outdoor.  No takeout food at all.  Groceries are only delivered or put into our trunk (no contact).

One year ago today was our last sort of normal day out.  We did one of our rare Whole Foods trips (everyone in the store was maskless then) and ate at a fast food place on the way home.  We decided that we were going to mostly stay home from then on, and my husband decided to work from home, whether his boss liked it or not.  Soon after his decision, his whole office shifted to working from home.

I've only left the apartment three times in this last year.  Two times were visiting with my mum on our apartment patio (separated by at least six feet), and one time was with Mum and our nephew distanced in a park (for his birthday).  My husband goes out more often, to move the car, mail packages, pick up prescriptions, etc.  

We didn't do that much socially even pre-pandemic, but we used to go to my mum's about once a week to play Scrabble, and we'd sometimes dine out with her or have takeout at her house on those same days, or sometimes we'd dine out with her and our nephew.  So, the change hasn't been too drastic for us.  We just couldn't afford to dine out or shop even before the pandemic, so we didn't do much then either.

I'm grateful that my husband has been able to successfully work from home.  That's two hours a day of dangerous commuting time that he doesn't have to do, and it's worked out fine, so far.  

I'm also glad that we live where we can get deliveries of Walmart groceries.  Our food options are limited, but at least it's relatively safe and simple.

I'm also lucky that I like my husband and he likes me, so we aren't suffering by being together.  I feel bad for people in bad marriages or other rough living situations.

We quarantine our groceries for three days every time we get them.  Refrigerated things go in refrigerator drawers for three days, frozen things go to one side of the freezer, and the rest of the things sit in our entryway until the three days is up.

Many people would say that our behavior this past year has been extreme, but we are doing what we are comfortable with.  Not much is going to change for us for the foreseeable future.  We will continue to do the same things, because we really can't risk getting sick.

Because of our refusal to eat takeout, our limited grocery options, and our various health conditions, our meals are tremendously boring most of the time.  I feel like I'm constantly fixing vegetables, doing dishes, and making other food, and in fact, I sort of am.  I need to work on being a bit more creative with our meals.

We only recently started doing Zoom "meetings" with Mum, so we could play Scrabble.  For very long, the other two were skeptical about how Scrabble would work, but I figured it out.  Mum is one team, and we are the other team, so my husband and I take turns when it's our turn.  We have a Scrabble board at each house, and a whole bag of letters at each house.  We play with nine letters on our rack, just like we used to at her house.  It's working out fine to play like this.  It's fun.

The first time we tried to connect, we were trying to use some Facebook chat thing, because I had seen an ad saying it was so easy to use.  Well, that was a lie, because we spent an hour or more first trying that, then switching to Zoom and trying to figure that out.  If that had been a YouTube video, it would've been pretty funny, because we were all so clueless.  Most of the time we connect easily now, but we've still had some troubles.  I always say that most technology should be easier and simpler to use.  It really should. 

I dabbled a bit with Facebook this year, but it isn't really a healthy place for me to be.  I have enough trouble staying mentally centered without messing around with that.

So, I wouldn't say that we are thriving, but we certainly are surviving.  Mum is doing online Tae Kwon Do classes (she's a second degree black belt) and taking some private TKD classes, too.  She may have done an online tournament today, but I haven't checked on that yet.

I think often about all of the people who don't have the options that we do...people who have to go to work, have to be around people, can't get groceries delivered, etc.  Nurses and other essential workers are saints, though I certainly didn't fault, in any way, the nurses who quit near the beginning of the pandemic because their employers weren't providing the proper equipment to keep them safe.

I know that my husband and I are lucky to have the options that we do.  But then there are the fools that go around maskless and hang out in crowds for no good reason, or who think they have to have their Italian vacation or whatever, and so the virus keeps spreading.  

So many people have lost loved ones.  It's really such a sad and terrible mess.

Okay, I know I need to calm down.  I've been angry way too often this past year.  I need to take charge of my life here at home and keep working on making things better in this, our new reality.

Do You Know Any 83-Year-Old That Can Do This?

This is my mum.  These images and videos are from last year, when she was 82, but she can still do it all now, at 83.

She's a 2nd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do and she can kick, hit, break boards with her hands, and so much more.  If she squeezes your arm, in a friendly way, it hurts a lot (she sometimes doesn't know her own strength).

Sure, a few people might know a person my mum's age who can do these things, but I'm sure that there aren't many.

Two short, but great videos of her doing...

...a dive roll

...a dive roll with a bo (meaning, a staff)

Of course, she can do so much more.  These are just the only videos that I can access at this moment.

She is such an inspiration.  I'd love to be like her someday - healthy, fit, talented, and cool.  She's just amazing and I'm so proud of her!

To My Sister Kim - Five Years Have Gone By

[I know that I shouldn't post pics of other people's children (my nephew), but this is five years old, so maybe it's okay, and Kim looks so great that I just had to use it.]

Kim,

Our wonderful sister, five years have passed and I still can't even believe that you are gone.  It feels like a bad dream, the time when you were sick and leaving us and the times since, and now, without you.  It can't be true.

My heart keeps breaking, over and over.  We all miss your laugh, your smile, your positivity, the enjoyment you got out of life.  We miss your knowledge, your expertise, your help with our health problems.  

Ethan misses you.  Of course he would miss his wonderful, loving mom.  He tries so hard to escape (with video games (me, too)) and he tries to be okay, but he will never have what he once did - the security of your love, your embrace, and all of the fun you and he had together.

Mum is the most brokenhearted of us all.  She is a strong woman, but this absolutely breaks her into pieces, forever.  You were her favorite, as we all knew.  It's very hard for her to go on, but she does it to help your son and others, and to honor your memory (because she knows you would want her to be okay, as much as possible).

Many people miss you.  You had a lot of friends.  So many people loved you, and still do.

I just don't know what to say other than it still hurts so, so much that you are gone.  Some of us are forever changed, forever grieving.  We know you wouldn't want that, but we can't help it.  We try to move on and be okay, but it doesn't ever completely happen.  I don't think it ever will.

Please send us some strength, so we can be okay.

Love,

Chris

Happy Birthday Kim - Missing You Still

This is our late sister Kim, filled with joy about the snow when she came home for a visit one time.  I wish I could feel like that.

I keep feeling shocked that she is gone.  People would be surprised that you can still feel shock about losing someone, even though next month it will be 5 years that she has been gone.  Mum isn't surprised that I feel this way, because she said she feels the same way.

I sometimes let my guard down, like when getting up in the middle of the night or just turning off all sound or devices during the afternoon, and I find myself in complete shock when I realize that she is gone.  I guess it will never stop shocking me, because she was so full of life and loving life.

I wanted to write more today, but I don't have time.  I just wanted to say - Happy Birthday, Kim - we love you!

Kim - We Will Miss You Every Day, Forever

 

Yesterday was the anniversary of my sister Kim's death.  It's the only death anniversary that I remember.  I forgot to blog about it yesterday because of some things that are going on with us, but that doesn't mean that I don't think about Kim every day, because I do.  I thought about that date for two weeks before it even came up.

 

I'm not making light of the situation by making a glittery Blingee.  I just like sparkly things.  Don't Mum and Kim look so beautiful and happy?  It's making me cry to see them.  I'm very grateful to still have Mum.  I love her so very much.

 

For anyone who has lost someone dear and still can't get over it, you are not alone.  As Patton Oswalt said about the loss of his wife, “I’ll never be at 100 percent again...”  That's exactly how I feel about losing Kim and about other important people who have passed.

 

Some people who knew Kim seem to not care so much that she is gone.  Maybe that is just how they cope with death, but it's strange to those of us who really feel it on a daily basis. 

 

If you are grieving, please turn to others for support.  If you can't get it from the people closest to you, turn to support groups or even message boards online.  They can help you feel like you are not so alone and are not so strange for having this lingering pain. 

 

They don't teach you this in school, how hard life gets when you start to lose so many loved ones.  It doesn't seem to get any easier.  The only thing that helps me is the love of the people who are still here.

Happy Mother's Day!

 

I drew this some years ago outside our side door for my mother-in-law and my husband's aunt (also like a mother to us) so they would see it when they went outside that day.

It's funny that I thought I was drawing a cat, because those ears looks more like bunny ears!

It's really a fun thing that kids can do and call it a "present" for their mom.

Anyway, this is my mum a few years ago, doing Tae Kwon Do:

 

She's just an amazing woman.  So strong, so loving and kind and helpful to other people, so smart.  I'm grateful that she's my mom.  That's why I wanted to do another blog and show some of her retro fashions from years back.  This is it:

 

http://christinabambinasmomsretrofashions.blogspot.com/

 

I've only put up a few photos so far.  I will do more when I find the time (or when I can find the photos).  I hope she likes it.

 

This is my sister Juli at her Tae Kwon Do black belt testing a few years ago:

 

 

I love the way her hair is swinging in this photo.  Another strong woman, both physically and mentally.  She's a great mom, too.  She works hard at both her paying jobs and all of the non-paid work that a good mom does.

 

On a Mother's Day weekend like this, we tend to think of the mothers who are still here and the mothers who are gone and that we miss.

 

Our late sister Kim is one mother who we miss, and her son misses her so, so much, too.  It's not fair that she's gone, or that any good mother is gone from a child's life too soon.

 

 

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to all of the hard-working mothers out there who don't get enough credit for all that they do.  It's a very hard job, and I'm sure that most of the mothers don't get nearly enough credit for all that they do.  People tend to take it for granted, the love and the caring and all of the work, but really you should be getting thanks every day, not just on this one day.

 

Happy Mother's Day!

 

Christine