I Love to See People Being Great Parents

 

 

When my husband and I were grocery shopping a couple of days ago, I saw a young couple in the self-checkout line.  Their toddler was fussing a bit when sitting in the cart, and her dad went to her and put his arms around her and then kissed her on the head.   The little girl seemed to feel better and calmed down.  It was such a beautiful moment. 

All kids should have parents as good as that young man.  All kids deserve that.

I was wishing later that I had said something positive to him about what a great dad he was.  I know it could’ve been a bit awkward, but maybe he would’ve liked to hear it.  I hope his wife or girlfriend appreciates what a good man he is, and tells him so, too.  Don’t just take it for granted if a man is that good, kind, and loving.  Acknowledge it and respect it.

The mom is probably a good person, too.  She was doing the grocery scanning, so she was busy, but she looked like a kind person, too.  So, that kid is lucky.  Many kids aren’t.

In contrast, I saw a woman once at the Target snack bar with her girl who was about 7 years old maybe (I’m not good at guessing ages).  The girl was eating her lunch or snack and the mother spent the entire time doing things on her phone.  I was sitting there a long time waiting for my husband to do some shopping (so I wouldn’t go in with our list and spend twice as much as he would), and the whole time this woman just ignored her daughter, didn’t say one word to her.

Now, I’m not saying that kids should be constantly entertained, never have one second of boredom, or anything like that, but I do think that a kid shouldn’t have to sit in silence eating, as if they are alone (and for all intents and purposes, she was alone).  That mom could’ve taken the time to actually converse with her daughter, create a moment based on love and caring.  I know I shouldn’t judge people, but that mom made me angry, especially because her daughter looked so sad the whole time. 

If you are a loving and attentive parent or grandparent, then I’d like to express my thanks to you, on behalf of your child and everyone else, too.  The world needs more love and caring all around. 

Also, if you know someone who is a good and loving parent or grandparent, please try to let them know how you feel, and that they are doing a good job.  I’m sure they need to hear it sometimes.

Grief and the Holidays

Okay, I know it's way past the holidays, but I'm still thinking of them anyway.  It's just especially hard to deal with the holidays when you are grieving.  Actually, our grieving will never end.  It just continues on, since our losses were very deep ones.

It's tough dealing with the holidays, when so many things remind us of those we've lost.  We continue some of the traditions on our own, but it's not the same.  We feel that we need to make some new traditions for ourselves, but we can't really think of any, and we still don't care that much about the holidays anymore anyway.

Basically, we just tried to get through the holidays as best we could, and focus on the children.  Maybe it would help more if we had our own children (more to keep us busy and distracted), but we did focus on nephews and nieces, and try to enjoy the time with them and for them.

I feel like the holidays and grief will continue to be difficult for us for the rest of our lives.  I guess that's just the way life is.  Maybe some people, less sensitive people, can just move on, party on, and have a better time, but we just aren't that way.  We really do try to enjoy our lives, but it's been hard.

The moments that we do manage to lose ourselves and enjoy ourselves seem to happen when playing or laughing with the kids.  So, I guess that's my only advice about any holiday and your grief - think of the kids and try to enjoy things as best you can.