Okay, I know it's way past the holidays, but I'm still thinking of them anyway. It's just especially hard to deal with the holidays when you are grieving. Actually, our grieving will never end. It just continues on, since our losses were very deep ones.
It's tough dealing with the holidays, when so many things remind us of those we've lost. We continue some of the traditions on our own, but it's not the same. We feel that we need to make some new traditions for ourselves, but we can't really think of any, and we still don't care that much about the holidays anymore anyway.
Basically, we just tried to get through the holidays as best we could, and focus on the children. Maybe it would help more if we had our own children (more to keep us busy and distracted), but we did focus on nephews and nieces, and try to enjoy the time with them and for them.
I feel like the holidays and grief will continue to be difficult for us for the rest of our lives. I guess that's just the way life is. Maybe some people, less sensitive people, can just move on, party on, and have a better time, but we just aren't that way. We really do try to enjoy our lives, but it's been hard.
The moments that we do manage to lose ourselves and enjoy ourselves seem to happen when playing or laughing with the kids. So, I guess that's my only advice about any holiday and your grief - think of the kids and try to enjoy things as best you can.